The other day I had a meeting with my fellow mentors from PWN Vienna and we discussed the importance of personal values in our work environment, and also in life in general. In NLP we place great importance on our core values, because we know that when we operate out of our highest values we experience congruence, motivation and a sense of satisfaction.

Values are abstract nominalisations. You cannot buy them in the supermarket and place them in a basket. Try to place respect, integrity or authenticity in a basket.

Values are highly individual and personal. Dedication to me might be that I stay late at work to finish my tasks and to you dedication might mean that you finish your work by 5 o’clock. I might value honesty in a way that I am truthful in how I express myself and you might value honesty in a sense of how honest your relationships are. So what a value means to me might be very different to what the same value means to you.

Values are the foundations of our behaviours and our inner motivators. Read that again!

According to the sociologist Morris Massey we all pass through three mental stages in life. The first stage is the Imprint period, between the ages of 0 and 7 years, when we are literally like a sponge. Our conscious mind is not yet developed and we absorb all the teachings and behaviours of our parents or other significant adults. Many of the memories and learnings during this period locate within the unconscious and they will continue to exist outside of conscious awareness. These learnings are the foundation for our values and thus, behaviours in our adult life. The second stage is the Modelling period, between the ages of 8 and 13 years, this is when we start modelling consciously and unconsciously the behaviours of others. Individual values begin to form during this period and the majority of them follow us throughout life. The third mental stage is the Socialisation period, between the age of 14 and 21. This is the period when we form our relationships and social values.

Most of us pass our adult lives being unconscious of our core values. Not being aware that when our core values are violated or in conflict we get into arguments, fights, relationships breaks, conflicts at work, deep unsatisfaction and we even can even have feelings of physical pain.

Now, our core values are usually stable after the 21st year of life, however Significant Emotional Events such as illness (ours or of someone close), death of a close person, separation (from a person, a place or a job) might cause them to change.

My coach elicited my values approximately 8 years ago and my most important value for work, my greatest motivator was: achievement, followed by development, honesty worthwhileness and independence. What this meant for me was that every now and then when I would feel unmotivated, stuck or unsatisfied with work I would ask myself: “Do I have ‘achievement’ currently at work?” If the answer was yes, I would go to the next value with the same question: “Do I have ‘development’ currently at work?” and so on. Now, if the answer was no, then I could find out what I was missing and could place my attention on bringing that back to my work. Therefore, I could make a change, move, motivate myself and bring back satisfaction.

I have talked in my previous articles that last year I was diagnosed with cancer and that was a Significant Emotional Event for me. After the therapy and my victory with the disease the time came when I needed to go back to work. Knowing that my number one value was ‘achievement’, to motivate myself I started creating these goals and outcomes for myself, different challenges and ‘to do’ lists, but they didn’t work. I thought maybe I can chunk them down (another NLP technique) to smaller outcomes, more easily achievable and I can get the satisfaction and motivation. But, that didn’t work either. I was struggling to get going, I was struggling to do any kind of work. I was completely stuck.

Knowing the impact of values on our behaviour and motivation, I reached out to my coach and asked for a values elicitation session. Because values are highly unconscious and because I cannot see my back, I could not self-coach here.

I was not surprised to see that I was right. My most important value was changed from ‘achievement’ to ‘connectivity’! Woow, what huge a change! No wonder the old motivational strategies didn’t work. ‘Achievement’ was no longer creating motivation for me, but ‘connectivity’ with people. Equipped with the new knowledge of my new core values I immediately started using them to motivate myself. And voila, the more I connected to people the more I was motivated and satisfied in my own skin and with what I was doing.

Reading until now you can imagine what knowing your values can do for you. Can you now imagine what knowing the core values of your employees can do for your team and your company? How easily you could motivate them and create an atmosphere of satisfaction and engagement? Because as my good friend, the teacher, says: “Only motivated students are good students. Same with employees”.

The best part is that you don’t need hours of coaching to find your core values, it can be done in one powerful coaching session and just this one session can change your life forever or change the course of your business forever. It is worth investing in one, it will pay off on the long run for sure with motivation and a feeling of satisfaction.

So, reach out to your coach or give get in touch with me to arrange your value elicitation session. Or do it for your team and witness the magic that will unfold.