With this newsletter I am excited to share with you matters close to my heart, hoping that it will inspire you to reflect, act and develop greater confidence and self-awareness in your roles. Because the most important relationship in our life is the one we have with our Self! I will be sharing with you tips, questions, knowledge and my views to help you develop this relationship and go on an expedition to meet and start valuing and loving yourself in the size and the shape you are. The more you know about your Self, the better you will lead yourself and others and you can create a world to which people want to belong.
So, let us begin….
At the beginning of last month I felt the uncomfortable feelings of being demotivated and frustrated. Waking up in the morning was difficult. My focus was scattered everywhere and even my morning meditation practice was not helping. I had to give myself a kick on my gluteus maximus 🙂 to start doing. I was still doing a lot, but it felt like I am not progressing at all. I was stuck in the rat wheel.
During the meeting with my Mentor I told him about my situation. He was just listening with a smile on his face. I was puzzled, what does he hear so that he is smiling? I am talking about my frustration and demotivation, that’s not really funny! Or is it? So, I started listening to my talk, too! By becoming a fly on the wall, I saw myself and I heard myself from a different perspective. This is the famous 3rd position in NLP.
The more I listened, the more I became aware: I have progressed!
Sometimes it is difficult to step out of the rat wheel and pause for a moment, slow down and see where we are standing. What is here at this moment that was not here in the past week, month, year?
This is how I started a Progress Diary, as advised by my other Mentor (yes, I work with two mentors and a coach). Once a week I stop, give myself half an hour break to reflect on my progress and write it down. It feels good to celebrate even the smallest achievements. This is how motivation works. If we only look at how far we still need to go, we might get overwhelmed and quit. But, if we look at how far we have come, it builds up motivation. Small efforts lead to quantum leaps!
Next up, an announcement…
How we communicate with ourselves and with others ultimately determines the quality of our relationships and our life. Communication is at the core of everything we do!
I am really passionate about communication and I love working with international groups learning how we are all so different, yet so similar when it comes to our structure.
This experiential training will run on the weekend of the 4th of March and I invite you to register here.
I promise, you will have fun, improve your communication skills, thus your relationships! and learn tools that you can use in your daily life.
You can check up my video series on Communication Excellence and subscribe to the Youtube channel, below is one on framing and reframing:
Now let’s look into….
Have you heard of pendulation – our natural resilience rhythm?
The situation in the past week has shaken us to the deepest atom. Invasion, attacks, battle, suffering, fleeing, pain. These are all words and pictures we hear and see in the media. They describe the current situation and provoke feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, trigger trauma, ours or trans-generational, and we experience fear. Fear is massively spreading among us and entering inside of us. Fear is a contracting state, a state of paralysis.
To experience it consciously, for a moment if you could make a tight fist with your hands. This is contraction! This is constriction! All the muscles are tense, you are alert and ready for action, but you are not able to do much with your hands when they are in a fist, except fight, right?
“It is life’s only true opponent, only fear can defeat life” – Yann Martel, Life of Pi
The experience of fear comes from the responses to threat of our primitive brain, when escape is in some way prevented or conflicted (weather actual or perceived). Peter Levine, a trauma therapist and researcher, says that contrary to what we might expect, fear doesn’t appear when our primary responses to threat: fight or flight, are executed freely. What happens then is movement in the body. But, when we are prevented or have a perception that we are prevented from movement, we feel paralysis in our body. A state of contraction.
Now our whole body and our whole universe functions in pendulation, which is the natural rhythm of pulsation between states of contraction and expansion. Take breathing for example, our lungs expand with every in-breath and contract with every out-breath. This primal rhythm is wholly innate and involuntary. If you take back that fist and release it, your hands are now able to move freely and you can start using them. Once you become aware that they are in a fist, you can release it and feel states of opening, relief and flow.
This is our natural resilience process. It
“evokes one of the most important reconnections to the body’s innate wisdom: the experience of pendulation, the body’s natural restorative rhythm of contraction and expansion that tells us that whatever is felt is time-limited… that suffering will not last forever.” – Peter A. Levine, In an Unspoken Voice
A resilient nervous system is one that can move back and forth between alertness and action, and calm and rest without getting stuck at either extreme. Yes, the worst case scenario is possible, but what else is possible? What is the best case scenario? There are so many possible scenarios as there are different shades in the colour spectrum. Notice the state of your body and if you find yourself being in a contracted state, release it consciously by taking a few deep and slow breaths. Especially slow down the out-breath, it calms down your vagus nerve. This is how we find our way back to equilibrium, we stop perceiving everything as dangerous and our doors of perception open up to possibility.
Next, two announcements:
Another monthly Self-Expedition Workshop, online on March 24th
A 3 hours online intensive workshop designed to help you explore your relationship to yourself in a small intimate group with an aura of trust. You will discover your your various layers and find which one needs your attention. Meet your Self, Hear your Self and See your Self with deep love and compassion in the size and shape that you are.
Your soul needs exploration. The more you explore your Self, the more you will grow!
Sign up here.
The fist Self Expedition Café is tomorrow.
I invite you to register here. And, bring a friend!
Or register for the next one on the 6th of April.
A clip from my latest project, the CORE Model designed together with Martina Jeric-Ruzovits for companies that want to thrive. In this LinkedIn live we are talking about the O, which stands for purposeful Outcomes. Having a PURPOSE and clear INTENTION tied to that purpose at work directs the attention toward accomplishments and personal excellence!
Finally we are at the end…
I’m listening to: