To thrive and lead a fulfilling life, I believe we need to nurture the most important relationship in our life – the one we have with our Self! Thus, my intention here is to share with you matters I hope you’ll find useful to guide you on your journey to create a loving relationship with yourself and others, and to build a life you desire.

Holidays are over and January is almost over, too. The new 2025 begun. It’s cold and grey outside most of the time… winter and wintering. Back to work, back to reality, back to the old patterns… or, the “new year, new me” mode is still on?

Let’s begin…

When I mention “ecology” as a concept in my trainings, many people are confused what the word means in the context of personal development. In this context it doesn’t refer to environmentalism in the traditional sense only. It includes it, because it takes into consideration the internal and systemic balance within us and outside of us – as a whole. It’s the practice of examining every action or decision to ensure it aligns with the well-being of the entire “system” – the interconnected parts of our lives.

These past few days biking in Vienna, a different kind of “ecology” caught my attention: the growing number of storage spaces. I’ve noticed them before, but this time the information reached my brain in a different way. We are running out of space – not only physical, but mental, too! We are collecting so many unnecessary physical things that we don’t have the capacity to store them anymore, thus the external storage business is blooming. The self-storage industry in the U.S. alone generates nearly $40 billion annually, outpacing the revenue of Hollywood. These facilities, designed to house surplus belongings, are a testament to the modern problem of consumerism. We’re accumulating so much that our homes are overflowing and the storage place is a solution for this modern day challenge.

Now, isn’t the same happening with our brain? We accumulate all this information – necessary and unnecessary – no wonder our brains are overwhelmed and “anxiety” has become a buzzword.

What happens with the internal mental clutter we carry? Is there a storage for that?

Mental consumerism is damaging us! We are constantly consuming information, ideas, or entertainment without necessarily creating, reflecting, using it purposefully or critically processing what is being consumed. Endlessly absorbing content like news, social media, books, podcasts, courses or videos… to fill up a void. Unfortunately, or fortunately – depending on the perspective one takes – this is not the way to fill the void we feel inside. We need to look inward and begin the process there, to give to our self having the ecology in mind.

Before we continue, few announcements:

• For all my Macedonian readers, there is an upcoming online workshop on setting and accomplishing goals, or outcomes as we call them in NLP. Tickets and more information are available here.

• Two NLP groups will be beginning their journey in 2025, one in Skopje and one in Vienna. I work in small groups and I choose who I work with. If you wish to be considered to join my transformational NLP Practitioner program and create the person you want to be, then apply to the waitlist and I will reach out to you.

Let’s move on now…

Consumerism vs. Inner Ecology

At its core, our relentless pursuit of stuff reflects a misalignment in our internal ecology. We try to fill voids with external solutions, ignoring the fact that true contentment comes from within. This is where the concept of “internal ecology” becomes critical.

In essence, checking the “ecology of your system” asks you to pause and reflect:

• Does this decision support my long-term well-being?
• Will it bring harmony to my relationships, health, and emotional state?
• Is it aligned with my deeper values and purpose?

When we pause to reflect on these questions, we often find that what we truly seek cannot be bought or stored. It lies in connection, purpose, and self-awareness.

In my trainings, when we work on outcomes and goals, I invite the participants to answer the following questions:

• Is there any part of your system that objects to your outcome?
• Will achieving this goal harm some part of you?
• Is achieving this goal beneficial for all parts of your system? Will this decision benefit the larger system of your mental, emotional, and social health?
• Will your system support you on your way to accomplishing your outcome?

It means that in every action you take you check the ecology of the system, too. This way you remove inner or outer saboteurs. You more easily reach what you need when you have the whole system on board supporting you!

What can we do?

To combat consumerism, both material and mental, we must redefine what it means to be fulfilled. This starts with shifting our focus from external accumulation to internal cultivation. Meditation, therapy, journaling, or simply spending time in nature can help us reconnect with ourselves and our values. These practices allow us to identify the “voids” we’re trying to fill and address them in ways that are sustainable and nourishing.

Here are some practical psychological tips for decluttering the mind and the home:

1. Begin your day with a “Daily Dump”: as soon as you wake up, open a new page in your notebook and just dump whatever is on your mind on 3 pages – whatever comes, fill the blank pages. Maybe it will be repeating the sentence “I don’t know what to write”, it doesn’t matter. Just write 3 pages! Look at your notebook as your external storage space 🙂This practice will allow you to begin the day with an empty space in your brain.
2. Check the ecology of your desires: Ask yourself: Why do I want this? Will this truly enhance my life, or is it a distraction from something deeper? This practice forces you to confront whether your actions are aligned with your internal system.
3. Adopt the “One In, One Out” rule: For every new item you bring into your home, remove one. This practice, grounded in minimalism, not only keeps physical clutter at bay but also encourages mindfulness about what truly matters.
4. Recognize emotional triggers: Keep a journal to track when you feel the urge to shop or acquire more information. Are you bored, anxious, or sad? Identifying patterns can help you address the root cause rather than masking it with consumption.
5. Prioritize experiences over things: Numerous studies have found that experience, like travel or learning a new skill, bring longer-lasting happiness than material possessions.
6. Practice gratitude: Focusing on what you already have can shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Begin every morning or end each day with 5 gratitudes. What are you grateful for today? Gratitudecan change you at a cellular level. It regulates cortisol production in your brain and reduces anxiety and stress.

In essence, by fostering our internal ecology, we create a system that supports our growth and well-being – without the need for endless storage spaces.

What are your practices for decluttering your home or mind? Share in the comments and maybe it will be useful to someone 🙂

To finish,

My message for the month of January is:

Clear your mind of old thoughts about yourself and create new ones.

A suggestion for your further reading:

How do I want to be? – the January 2023 edition of the Self-Expedition newsletter

A Courageous Leap into the Unknown – the January 2024 edition of the Self-Expedition newsletter

Inspiration and Information Sources:

I’m reading:

• How Overconsumption Affects the Environment and Health, Explained– words by Seth Millstein
• The Perfection Trap:Embracing the Power of Good Enough – a book by Thomas Curran
• The Artists Way– a book by Julia Cameron