With this newsletter I am excited to share with you matters I care about, hoping that it will inspire you to reflect, act and develop greater confidence and self-awareness in your roles. Because the most important relationship in our life is the one we have with our Self!

Let us begin…

As in July I began my contract with the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) I have been juggling between my full time office work, my work with the Academy (VIANLP), coaching, the C.O.R.E. Model, the new project, the garden, running, yoga, social life, me time…. I didn’t want to give up anything that I had before the contract, and especially not the 8 hours of sleep 🙂 There were many days when I felt drained like a squeezed lemon at the end of the work day. I just had the need to sit and stare at a dot on the wall in order to recover my state. It was very difficult for me to move or be physically active, even though I was sitting the whole day in the office. My organism needed to adapt to the new normal and I needed to make decisions on what I keep and what I let go of, otherwise I was heading to a burnout.

What I noticed is that I was in a drained state when I would come home immediately after 8-9 hours at the office. The days when I went to work in the garden, watched a sunset, had coaching or met a friend after work – I was physically tired at the end of the day, but overall content. I slept better, too. At the office my battery was being drained, and I needed to find ways how to recharge it.

So, how do you recharge?

When I say recharge I don’t only mean going on vacation two times per year, or having a weekend getaway once every three months. No! How do you recharge on a daily basis?

Like we recharge our phones every day, we also need to recharge ourselves.

Of course, this is highly individual. What works for me doesn’t necessarily have to work for you.

The 🗝 is to become aware when you feel you are in a drained state. Observe 👀 what drains your battery and find ways that work for you to recharge. Find ways that give you energy.

It might be art, dancing, walking or sitting in nature, playing with your kids, cooking, reading, listening to music, watching the sky, meeting friends, going to a workshop or a concert… the list is endless. Just please don’t look at the screen of your phone – that is definitely a drainer for all of us.

Onward,

The Intention / Perception Gap

One of the fastest ways to increase your influence is to improve your communication. In fact, you need to improve how your audience perceives your communication – employees, bosses, colleagues, clients, partners, and even friends and family. Because very often there is a gap between what you intend to communicate and what is actually received by your audience. This is called the Intention/Perception Gap and unfortunately happens all the time in communication. What you intended one way was perceived another. It is the cause of the majority of challenges in communication.

It happens because we all experience the world differently and the information we receive through our five senses is largely filtered trough our internal filters: experiences, beliefs, values, attitudes, identities. When we communicate we only show our surface structure and so much information is left unsaid – which is our deep structure, so our brains have to fill in the missing information. Our brains love to make up stories.

How many times has it happened to you to tell someone not to take something the wrong way? “But, that’s not what I meant”. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”. “I only intended my comment to be helpful”…. Many times, right?

Even though we can not do it perfectly, there are many ways in which we can make an effort to bridge this gap between intention and perception. This is how an NLPer would do it:

• Define your intention and communicate it to your audience.
• Frame your conversation – each conversation happens within a specific context.
• Create rapport.
• Use your senses with precision – it is called sensory acuity.
• Calibrate the minute changes in the physiology of your audience – our body language shows a lot.
• Be flexible with your communication (verbal and nonverbal)
• Backtrack and ask questions to clarify what your audience perception is.
• Be always curious, there is so much more beyond words.

To continue, an announcement…

NeuroLinguistics Practitioner

Some people decide to invest in improving their communication skills and this changes their lives completely. It for sure happened to me! Communication is interwoven into every aspect of our life, isn’t it? And, you have probably heard that the quality of your communication affects the quality of your life!So, are you going to improve the quality of your life?

Join me on the 7th to 9th of October 2022 at the next NeuroLinguistics Practitioner Program and transform how you communicate, how you persuade, how you influence, how you relate… and so much more. It is a 15 days transformational program divided into 5 modules – a truly exceptional experience. Drop me a message at: contact@vianlp.com

Super early bird is already gone, some people grabbed it! The early bird is now available until mid August!

Finally, my last announcement:

The Self Expedition Café will happen this Wednesday, 3rd August at 12hrs on YouTube live.Join meat the following link: https://youtu.be/A_Tukjnk8Yw

We’ll discuss the newsletter and I have an amazing story for you. I’d love to hear your communication stories and your ways to recharge. *Tip: you need to be registered with your account on YouTube to comment.

To finish,

My message for the month of August is:

The words you use have power.

Choose wisely!

Conversation starters:

(Inspiration and Information Sources)

I’m reading:

• Is Silence Killing your Company? an HBR article by Lesley Perlow and Stephanie Williams.
• Harnessing the Science of Persuasionan HBR article by Robert B. Cialdini
• Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations an HBR article by Holly Weeks
• The C-Suite Skills That Matter Most (hbr.org) another HBR article by Sadun, Fuller, Hansen and Neal

I am watching:

• Principles for Dealing with the Changing World Order by Ray Dalio

I am listening to:

• How to Be a Master of Relationship – an interview with John Gottman at the Relationship Alive podcast