Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold. It treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object and it teaches the philosophy that by embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. This is very similar to resilience, because every break is unique and when we put the pieces together again, it is still one whole – but the object is shaped slightly differently.

In NLP we have this beautiful technique called Personal Editing. I use it on a daily basis and it helps me edit myself and create myself in a way that I increase the choices I have in my life. It helps me create a better version of myself.

Let’s say I have an important meeting today. I prepare for it, the time comes, I do the meeting and I am done with it. Once I am done with it, usually there is that little thing that is sooo important that I did not say. And, as I replay the meeting in my head, I realise that for some time of the meeting I was not really present and aware of myself. My reaction to my colleague was not appropriate. It was also not so nice to say that, instead I should have said this…. And so on, my internal voice continues rambling inside my head with all the should haves.

I stop it and I do a very simple thing.

I replay the movie again in my head and I start editing. Just as movies get edited. I take out the scenes where I didn’t like how I behaved and I change them in my head. One by one, in my imagination I create the desired behaviours – how would I have wanted to behave. When I don’t have a desired behaviour in my experience, then I might use a behaviour of a model. How would they do it? What would they have done in such a situation?

Once I am done editing the scene and I am satisfied with how I look like, sound like and feel like, I will place it back in the movie. By doing this I create more choice for myself in the future when I find myself in the same situation.

Life is simple. NLP techniques are simple. Try this daily ritual. See and feel for yourself how by doing this you can create a better, stronger and more beautiful version of yourself.

How can this technique help you improve your leadership skills? Your communication skills? Your presentation skills?